Today, January 20, 2024 marks the 18th birthday of the original High School Musical movie. Yes, the movie, if it were a person, would be graduating high school this year, singing forgettable songs about nights to remember. In honor of this, I recently watched all 3 High School Musical movies and documented random thoughts I had as I had them.

High School Musical

1. So… no one thinks it’s weird that a brother and sister are leading all the musicals? 
2. Mrs. Darbus was supposed to be crazy, but is she ever actually wrong?
3. Wow, they’ve already built a lot of sets for this musical considering they haven’t even held auditions yet. 
4. Hats were a big thing in the ‘00s weren’t they? 
5. Kelsie was really killing it with the hat game. 
6. Honestly, kudos to this high school for supporting the 16-year-old student who wrote an ENTIRE MUSICAL. 
7. Ryan was REALLY killing it with the hat game. 
8. The Ryan and Sharpay audition is honestly no better than all the “bad” auditions. 
9. Wait… is that the genius of the whole thing? That they are so campy yet so sincerely believe they are unironically brilliant?  
10. Sharpay’s right, the jazz squares were stupid. 
11. I wonder what names they considered for this character besides Sharpay. That’s not a character name you arrive at without careful deliberation. 
12. Wow. These kids really can’t wrap their head around having more than one interest, can they?  
13. Sharpay is so mad, when literally the entire school is singing to their divergent friends to sit the fuck down and stay in their lane. Isn’t that what she wants too? Why is she so mad? 
14. The saddest part here is that Troy has never had Crème Brûlée. 
15. Zeke is delightful. Why wasn’t there more Zeke? Would gladly sacrifice some Chad time for Zeke time if necessary. 
16. Shoutout to HSM for actually showing the characters rehearse their number before the big moment. It sets realistic expectations. 
17. “We need to save our musical from people who don’t know the difference between a Tony Award and Tony Hawk” is a real line that someone wrote. 
18. This high school really had the budget to get a custom made mural of their basketball team made for the school hallway?
19. Honestly, even Sharpay’s hat game kinda slays.

High School Musical 2

20. I have trouble believing this many people wanted to sign Sharpay’s yearbook. 
21. Kelsey is rocking peak ‘00s Disney channel layers. “Patterns? I’ll take all of them.” 
22. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. AM I SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THAT TROY AND GABRIELLA HAVE BEEN AN ITEM FOR LIKE 5 MONTHS BUT STILL HAVEN’T KISSED YET?!?!
23. This is now summertime, in New Mexico, yet the whole school is still wearing long pants? 
24. You can tell this movie is really old by the fact that high school students are actually talking on the phone and not just texting. 
25. I don’t know what the hell that liquid is, but it is not iced tea. 

26. …Is Maine known for their turkeys? 
27. The real unsung hero of this film is whoever did the sound design for “Work This Out.” 
28. Honestly why does Sharpay want Troy so bad when Zeke is right there?
29. I love how these people are not only committed to their hats, but committed to never wearing them at the angle they were intended for. 
30. If Sharpay and Ryan’s parents are really this loaded, why are their kids going to a public school? 
31. Oh shit, the Disney+ version has the Huma Huma song in it. 
32. My condolences to all Pacific Islanders. On behalf of the Hwites, I’m sorry. 
33. I could watch a solid hour of Troy just strolling down a line of child golfers and giving them notes. 
34. Am I supposed to think Troy would go through all this for a basketball scholarship to… Albuquerque State? 
35. They know the college basketball team should only look like 2ish years older than the high schoolers, right? 
36. Wait has “I Don’t Dance” been a giant euphemism for gay sex this whole time? 
37. “Bet On It” is still the most iconic thing that ever happened in a DCOM, yet is somehow less gay than “I Don’t Dance” 
38. So… did someone actually choreograph Bet On It or did they just let Zac go wherever his feelings took him? 
39. Ryan Evans really gets the Star Dazzle for “choreographing” a number that was essentially just the group holding hands in a circle around Troy and Gabriella? 
40. It’s almost comical how little the pool party “We’re All In This Together” knockoff actually matters in this.

High School Musical 3

41. This first number walks a very fine line between being a High School Musical number and a satire of a High School Musical Number. 
42. OMG they’re listening to “Like Whoa” by Aly & A.j. #BrandSynergy #TheyAREAllInThisTogether 
43. Love how the excessive Disney Channel layers have made it into the boys’ looks as well. (They live in New Mexico, how can this be necessary?) 
44. Wow, we’re 10 minutes, and two musical numbers in and no sign of Sharpay. I could get used to this. 
45. Oh no. Not the “Fabulous” music. 
46. Wait. Is she STILL chasing after Troy? Hasn’t he been with Gabriella for a solid year at this point? 
47. I don’t know where this new English character is from, but it doesn’t sound like England. 
48. Is “the Last Waltz” really a theme? 
49. *One IMDb search later* Apparently that girl is from England. Weird. 
50. Love Mrs. Darbus’s commitment to doing original musicals. Hairspray? Annie? Grease? Not on her watch. 
51. Is this really how Julliard does admissions? I feel like this is not how Julliard does admissions. 
52. Like really? One of the most exclusive schools in the world just decided to consider Troy Bolton who didn’t even apply? Does being a white man with the right hair flip really open that many doors? 
53. Okay… but surely in the “real world” someone’s gonna comment on how weird this brother-sister duo are for auditioning for everything together, right? Has no one thought of that? 
54. All that build up to Chad asking Taylor to prom and we didn’t even get a real music number of it? He just asks her? Right when I was considering getting invested in Chad and Taylor? 
55. Do NOT ask me to get invested in these new underclassman characters. Don’t. You. Do. It. 
56. If Kelsie gives her “best” numbers to Troy and Gabriella, I shudder to think what she’s giving to the rest of this cast.
57. Is it just me or are there way more songs in this one compared to the first two?
58. These teenagers have big bedrooms.
59. Gabriella is too smart to be this stupid 
60. This “Just Walk Away” song, is just “Simply the Best” no? 
61. Talk about “head’s in the game but my heart’s in the song” 
62. This song wishes it was “Bet On It” 
63. Is Mrs. Darbus an icon? I think Mrs. Darbus is an icon. 
64. I don’t understand this Stanford Honors thing. So… they just let a bunch of high schoolers come on campus in like March? Are they taking classes? Wouldn’t it make more sense to just have them come early in like August? 
65. Amazing how this kid nailed the Harry Styles look like 3 years before Harry Styles was famous.

66. Wait is Troy the valedictorian? Gabriella is right. There. 
67. I would’ve been annoyed by this “High School Musical” number in 2008, but honestly cheers to them for having the audacity for just having a super meta “fuck yeah, we were in High School Musical” number.